Congratulations Hollister! You win the award for being host of the absolute worst retail experience I have ever had. This is no easy feat, yet it was done with such style and grace, actually...scratch grace because that implies it was somewhat pleasing; it was done with such style, I would be remiss to let it go unnoticed.
Let's just get the obvious reasons that earned you this award out of the way first. I loooove the dark ambience in your stores, especially when I can't find anything. It's like a scavenger hunt for over-priced tattered clothes, my favorite! Walking around from spotlight to spotlight might be unnerving for most people, but for me it reminds me of playing connect the dots, so thank you for making me nostalgic for my childhood days, I really don't get that feeling everyday. Oh! I also can't say enough about the volume of the music. It is intense! So brain-shattering, it makes me want to open up my wallet and sprinkle my cash around to the beat of each and every song. Seriously, you guys are on to great things at Hollister- other retailers better get on board, or they'll be eating your dust! Oh wait, they'll be eating your sand!!! Now we're talkin'...you surfer guys and gals are too cool for dust.
Now for the kicker, the "slam dunk" as I like to call it, that cinched Hollister the ever so coveted "Worst retail experience I have ever had" award. The Staff. Unbelievable. Breathtaking...It's hard to put it into words, but I'll try. If my shopping experience is my Yin, the Hollister Staff and their expertise & professionalism is my Yang. If my shopping experience is peanut butter, you better believe the Hollister Staff is the jelly. It's a staff particularly like your daytime crew at the Roseville, CA location under the supervision of Assistant Manager Jenny, that is going to take Hollister leaping and bounding into the bleak retail frontier. I'm convinced. I mean, who else has the balls (pardon my language, but I figured that was cool because we're all young and hip, right?) to ignore more than 10 customers waiting patiently in line with money in hand wanting to buy everything and anything Hollister??!! This staff has fire, and sensibility...I was intrigued by how disconnected Jenny and her staff were to customers willing to patronize your business...I figured they must know something that I don't, heck maybe the customer doesn't come first....Interesting.
On that note, it is with extreme pleasure that I bestow upon you, Hollister @ the Roseville, CA Galleria the "Worst retail experience I have ever had" award. Your prize, you ask? All the "kudos" I will be sharing with everyone I know who even utters a word that they will be bringing you any type of business what so ever. Please do me a favor, and share this with the Roseville, CA staff, particularly Jenny and Jimmy, because this type of honor surely deserves major "cool" points. Oh, I almost forgot, in addition, please share this with your Greeter. Upon entering the black hole that appeared to be your store, I was so excited to get my blind retail scavenger hunt underway I forgot to answer her kind question. *That's* what's up.